Active Listening for Coaches: 10 Techniques to Make Clients Feel Truly Heard

Active listening is the foundation of effective coaching. But what exactly does it mean to listen actively—and how do you do it when you're also thinking about what to say next?

The 10 Techniques for Better Listening

1. Full Presence

Put away distractions. Make eye contact. Orient your body toward the speaker. These physical cues help you listen better AND signal to clients that they have your full attention.

Practice tip: Before each session, take three deep breaths and set an intention to be fully present.

2. Listening for Emotion, Not Just Content

What feeling is underneath the words? A client saying "I've been so busy" might be expressing overwhelm, pride, or avoidance—and your response should match.

Practice tip: After your client speaks, ask yourself: "What emotion might they be experiencing right now?"

3. Reflective Statements

Instead of jumping to questions, reflect back what you heard. This shows understanding and invites clarification.

"It sounds like this has been weighing on you for a while."

"You're feeling torn between wanting to change and not wanting to give up what you enjoy."

4. Strategic Silence

When you feel the urge to fill silence, resist. Pause for 3-5 seconds after your client finishes speaking. Often, they'll continue and share something deeper.

Why it works: Silence gives clients space to process and access deeper thoughts.

5. Listening for What's NOT Said

Sometimes the most important information is in the gaps. Notice:

• •Topics they avoid
• •Questions they don't answer directly
• •Incongruence between words and tone

6. Checking Understanding

Periodically verify that you're tracking correctly.

"Let me make sure I'm following. You're saying..."

"Is that right, or am I missing something?"

7. Listening Without Planning Your Response

This is hard! Our minds naturally start formulating responses while the other person is still talking. Practice staying with their words until they're fully finished.

Practice tip: When you notice yourself planning a response, gently bring your attention back to their words.

8. Hearing the Person, Not Just the Problem

Clients aren't problems to be solved. They're people with complex lives, histories, and relationships. Listen to understand them as whole humans, not just the issue they're presenting.

9. Noticing Your Own Reactions

What comes up for you as you listen? Irritation? Boredom? The urge to fix? These reactions are information—about you AND about what your client might trigger in others.

10. Summarizing to Show You Heard

At key moments, bring together what you've heard:

"So let me see if I can summarize what you've shared. You came in wanting to lose weight, but what we've really been talking about is feeling out of control in multiple areas of your life..."

The Listening Paradox

Here's what makes listening so powerful: when people feel truly heard, they often find their own solutions. Your job isn't to have the answers—it's to create the space where answers can emerge.

Developing Your Listening Skills

Active listening sounds simple, but it's surprisingly difficult to do consistently. It requires:

• •Putting aside your ego and agenda
• •Staying curious even when you think you know the answer
• •Managing your own reactions in real-time

These skills develop through practice—lots of it. Every conversation is an opportunity to get better.