Rolling with Resistance: 7 Coaching Techniques That Turn Pushback into Progress

Resistance isn't an obstacle to change—it's information about the change process. When you learn to roll with resistance instead of fighting it, difficult moments become opportunities for deeper connection.

The 7 Techniques for Rolling with Resistance

1. Simple Reflection

When a client expresses resistance, sometimes the best response is simply to reflect what they said without adding interpretation.

Client: "I don't see why I should have to give up the foods I love just to lose a few pounds." Coach: "Giving up foods you enjoy doesn't seem worth it." Why it works: You're not agreeing or disagreeing—just demonstrating that you heard them. Often, just feeling heard reduces resistance.

2. Amplified Reflection

Reflect the resistance back slightly stronger than stated. This often prompts clients to argue for the other side.

Client: "Exercise is just not my thing." Coach: "Physical activity has never worked for you and never will." Client: "Well, I wouldn't say never. I used to enjoy hiking..." Why it works: When their own resistance sounds extreme, clients naturally moderate it.

3. Double-Sided Reflection

Acknowledge both sides of the ambivalence without judgment.

Client: "I know I should eat better, but I just don't have the energy to cook after work." Coach: "On one hand, you see the value in eating better. And on the other, your energy at the end of the day makes cooking feel impossible." Why it works: Shows you understand the full picture of their experience.

4. Shifting Focus

When a conversation gets stuck on one topic, gently redirect.

Client: "I can't possibly fit exercise into my schedule. It's completely packed." Coach: "Your schedule is really demanding right now. Let's set that aside for a moment—I'm curious about something else. What drew you to coaching in the first place?" Why it works: Sometimes resistance on one topic masks readiness on another.

5. Agreeing with a Twist

Find what you can genuinely agree with, then offer a reframe.

Client: "My doctor just doesn't understand how hard this is." Coach: "You're right—no one fully understands your experience except you. And that's exactly why your perspective matters most here." Why it works: Validates their experience while subtly shifting toward empowerment.

6. Emphasizing Personal Choice

Remind clients that they're in control.

Client: "Everyone keeps telling me what I should do." Coach: "That must be frustrating. At the end of the day, you're the only one who gets to decide what changes, if any, feel right for you." Why it works: When people feel their autonomy is respected, they relax and become more open.

7. Coming Alongside

Instead of opposing resistance, join the client where they are.

Client: "I've tried everything. Nothing works for me." Coach: "You've put a lot of effort into this over the years. It makes sense that you'd be skeptical about trying yet another approach." Why it works: Resistance often comes from not feeling understood. Coming alongside dissolves that.

The Mindset Shift

The key insight is this: resistance usually isn't about YOU or your suggestions. It's about the client's relationship with change itself.

When you stop taking resistance personally and start treating it as information, everything shifts. Each moment of pushback becomes a window into what the client needs from you.

Building Your Rolling-with-Resistance Muscles

These techniques are simple to understand but challenging to execute in real-time. You need to:

• •Catch your defensive reaction before it takes over
• •Choose the right technique for the situation
• •Deliver it with genuine warmth and curiosity

This kind of skill develops through deliberate practice—ideally with realistic scenarios where you can try different approaches and see what works.