Coaching Clients Who Make Excuses: Scripts That Create Accountability Without Judgment

Every coach has clients who always have a reason why they couldn't follow through. While it's tempting to challenge these excuses directly, that approach usually backfires.

Here's how to respond to common excuses in ways that create accountability without judgment.

Understanding the Role of Excuses

Excuses serve a purpose. They protect clients from:

• •Feeling like a failure
• •Facing the gap between intentions and actions
• •Having uncomfortable conversations

When you understand this, you can respond with compassion while still moving forward.

Scripts for Common Excuses

"I didn't have time"

Instead of: "We need to find ways to make time." Try: "Time has been really tight. I'm curious—when you imagine fitting this in, what would have to change?" What this does: Acknowledges the reality while inviting problem-solving.

"Something came up"

Instead of: "Something always comes up—that's why we need backup plans." Try: "Life has a way of throwing curveballs. What happened, and how did it affect your plans?" What this does: Shows interest in their experience rather than just the outcome.

"I forgot"

Instead of: "Let's set up reminders so you don't forget." Try: "What do you think was happening that it slipped your mind? Was it competing with other priorities, or something else?" What this does: Explores the underlying pattern rather than just the symptom.

"I tried but it didn't work"

Instead of: "Let's figure out why it didn't work." Try: "Tell me about how it went. Walk me through what happened." What this does: Gathers information without implying they did something wrong.

"I was too tired/stressed/busy"

Instead of: "Self-care is important too—you need to prioritize this." Try: "Sounds like you were really depleted. When you're running on empty, this falls off the list. What usually fills your tank back up?" What this does: Validates the struggle and opens exploration of sustainable approaches.

"I'll do it next week"

Instead of: "You said that last week too." Try: "What feels different about next week that makes it feel more doable?" What this does: Invites them to either identify real differences or recognize the pattern themselves.

The Deeper Pattern

When excuse-making becomes a pattern, it often signals:

• •The goal isn't actually important to them (yet)
• •The action feels too big or intimidating
• •They're experiencing unconscious self-sabotage
• •Something in the coaching relationship isn't working

Rather than battling the excuses, explore what's underneath them.

A powerful question: "I'm noticing a pattern here—and I don't say that to judge you. I'm genuinely curious: what do you think is really going on?"

Creating Accountability That Works

Real accountability isn't about catching clients in their excuses. It's about helping them become more aware of their own patterns and building structures that support follow-through.

Ask: "What would make it easier for you to do what you're committing to?" Ask: "What usually gets in the way, and how might we address that upfront?" Ask: "How do you want me to follow up with you about this?"

When clients help design their own accountability, they're more likely to follow through.

The Skill of Compassionate Directness

The best coaches are both compassionate AND direct. They don't accept excuses at face value, but they don't attack them either. They hold a space where honest conversation is possible.

This balance is learnable—but it requires practice navigating real conversations where excuses show up.